THE DEFINITION OF A CHIARI MALFORMATION HAS BEEN LONG DEBATED. IT REALLY IS NO WONDER THAT PATIENTS AND MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS ALIKE ARE CONFUSED. THEN, WITH US FULLY UNDERSTANDING ALL SIDES OF THE DEBATE, WE DEFINED A CHIARI MALFORMATION AS STRUCTURAL DEFECTS IN WHICH THE CEREBELLUM, THE HIND PART OF THE BRAIN, DESCENDS BELOW THE FORAMEN MAGNUM INTO THE SPINAL CANAL. THIS DEBATE IS BEING ANALYZED THIS YEAR, AS CERTAIN ORGANIZATIONS ARE BRAVING TO ATTEMPT TO BRING DOCTORS ALL UNDER ONE UNIFORM DEFINITION AND DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA. THEREFORE, AMIDST ALL THE CONFUSION AND DEBATE, WE WANTED TO EXPLAIN THE FACTORS INVOLVED, AND WHY WE WENT WITH THE DEFINITION THAT WE DID, AND WHY ONE STANDARD IS SO IMPORTANT!

To better facilitate our explanation, we will call all associated terms by their specific medical names:

Tonsillar Ectopia (TE) = tonsillar herniation of any size
Posterior Fossa Hypoplasia (PFH) = an underdeveloped posterior fossa

Chiari Malformation Vs. Arnold Chiari Malformation

The most common type of Chiari is Type 1 (which includes a Chiari 1.5, where the brainstem is also below the foramen magnum). Many people use the term “Chiari Malformation” when diagnosed with Type 1, while others cling to the name “Arnold Chiari Malformation” with the same diagnosis. Is there a difference? The name “Chiari Malformation” came from Hans Chiari, an Austrian pathologist, who first discovered the malformation in the late 19th century.[1, 2] Julius Arnold, a German pathologist, later expanded on Chiari Type 2, and Type 2 took on his name “Arnold Chiari Malformation.” Therefore, technically speaking, a Chiari Malformation and an Arnold Chiari Malformation are not the same; Arnold Chiari Malformation is specific to Chiari Type 2 (which usually includes a myelomeningocele, the most serious form of Spina Bifida). However, they are used interchangeably by many, even by medical professionals and the misnomer is of little consequence one way or the other.[3]

Chiari Malformation = Posterior Fossa Hypoplasia Theory

Many ascribe to the theory that a Chiari Malformation ONLY consists of a posterior fossa hypoplasia (which means that the back of the skull is malformed, and therefore the cranial area (space) at the rear is too small). They believe that a tonsillar ectopia is only a symptom, and a Chiari Malformation can exist with or without an accompanying ectopia. This argument is not without merit, because much of what was initially being looked at by Hans Chiari were deformities in the posterior skull upon postmortem examination (so there wasn’t soft tissue to analyze). He originally attributed much to hydrocephalus, but expanded his research into the pons, medulla oblongata, and cerebellum (which can all be attributed to intracranial pressure as a pathology of a “tonsillar ectopia”). To ascribe to this belief would also mean that “Acquired Chiari Malformations” cannot exist, as one doesn’t “acquire” a small posterior fossa. And that would also mean that Chiari Type 2, Type 3 and Type 4 technically would not be a Chiari Malformation at all either, since their definitions do not require a posterior fossa hypoplasia. Perhaps type 3, which has an opening at the back of the skull, but no “small posterior fossa” is even implied in the definitions.

But to look at the full history of what became known as a Chiari Malformation, we can begin by looking at the research of a German pathologist, named Theodor Langhans. In his research in 1881 (a decade before Hans Chiari conducted his research on what became known as a Chiari Malformation), while looking at syringomyelia (“a cavity created in the spinal cord”), he noted a “change in the cerebellar cavity.” Upon dissection of the cerebellum, he described the cerebellar tonsils as “two symmetrical pyramidal tumors,” pushing the brainstem forward.[4] In fact, the other noted researchers: Nicholas Tulp (1593–1674), John Cleland (1835–1925), and Julius Arnold (1835–1915), all centered on the hindbrain hernia [herniation] without speculation as to its etiology/pathology. It is said that “many of the English translations of Chiari’s work contain inaccuracies.” But note that Chiari’s first paper was on “ectopia of cerebellar tissue,” and that he went on to define Type 1 as showing, “elongation of the tonsils and medial parts of the inferior lobes of the cerebellum into cone shaped projections, which accompany the medulla oblongata into the spinal canal.”[5] Which sounds like what is now known to be a Chiari 1.5. Much later, in 1938, at a time when the posterior fossa decompression became the popular surgical treatment for a Chiari Malformation, a Chiari 2 patient “underwent posterior fossa exploration with the authors not considering hindbrain herniation in their differential. Penfield and Coburn later stated that: ‘In retrospect it seems that we should have suspected the Arnold-Chiari malformation. Instead, a suboccipital craniotomy was carried out…” So even the early neurosurgeons seeking to perfect their surgical treatment felt that it was a mistake to concentrate on the posterior fossa and not take into account etiologies of the hindbrain herniation. That mistake is still going on 80 years later.[6]

The biggest problem that they are going to have with strictly defining a Chiari Malformation as a small posterior fossa resides in the fact that the diagnosis criteria for a Chiari Malformation only consists of ONE MEASUREMENT, the length of the tonsillar ectopia (how far the tonsils herniate below the foramen magnum). Generally, there are no measurements of the posterior fossa taken when radiologists make the initial diagnoses. Furthermore, most neurosurgeons see the radiology reports, and depending on symptomology, they make the decision to decompress or not to decompress without ever measuring the size of the posterior fossa. Most never look for (and often do not know about) etiological/pathological cofactors that could have been causing the tonsillar prolapse in the first place.

Where does this assumption leave us?
Unfortunately it leaves most of us with failed decompressions, fighting with our neurosurgeons that “something is still wrong.” These neurosurgeons look at their post-operative checklist and see that they successfully did everything surgically required in their out-of-date textbooks:
  1. Suboccipital bone was appropriately decompressed. ✔️
  2. Dura was opened and dura patch was successfully inserted. ✔️
  3. Lamina was successfully removed from the C1 (and sometimes the C2 as well). ✔️
They did all that was required of them based on the diagnoses presented! They don’t have time (or don’t care) to look beyond that, so once again, the idea of our continued symptoms are thought of as being psychosomatic.
 
While we applaud the efforts of those seeking to get a measure of consistency in how Chiari is defined, the truth remains that until the diagnosis criteria is changed as well, we are being diagnosed with Chiari Malformation based on our tonsillar herniation; it is presumed to be congenital; we are being surgically treated as though it is congenital, and we are ending up with failed decompressions. This confusion is beyond unacceptable, it’s reprehensible!
When it is all redefined, hopefully we will have a well defined diagnosis criteria, or it is all irrelevant. And the many that really did acquire what was assumed to be “congenital” who are now being told that they do not have Chiari Malformation at all, will be able to get lawyers for “an improper diagnosis” that lead to the incorrect brain surgery being done. There are surgeons coming around and finally seeing that there is merit to these studies that have been done since the late 1990s, that have shown a pushing/pulling effect that can cause the tonsillar ectopia that gets us diagnosed with a Chiari Malformation, and we applaud them for having the integrity to stand up and get it right. That’s exactly what we need and deserve!
If you were diagnosed with a Chiari Malformation and want to know how all of this might be affecting you, we encourage you first to find your initial radiology reports, and see if there were measurements taken of the posterior fossa. And then wait with that information… wait and see what changes are actually made to the definition. While you are waiting learn. Learn everything you can about every etiological/pathological cofactor, and every comorbidity. If it is “officially” redefined as a small posterior fossa, we will have to work together as a community (like we always do) to help lawyers see how we have been getting lost in the shuffle, year after year. If it’s not officially changed and Chiari continues to be defined as a structural defect involving the cerebellar tonsils, we will have to continue in our fight to make these cofactors of Acquired Chiari Malformation known!

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References:

1 Tubbs, et al. “Hans Chiari (1851–1916).” Journal of Neurology, Pioneers in Neurology, Springer Berlin Heidelberg, 26 Mar. 2010, <https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00415-010-5529-0>.

2 “Hans Chiari.” Whonamedit – Dictionary of Medical Eponyms, <www.whonamedit.com/doctor.cfm/1123.html>.

3 Tubbs, R. Shane, and W. Jerry Oakes. The Chiari Malformations: A Historical Context . 2013, <https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/79dd/127d31820d612600c0b032225437295d86c3.pdf>.

4 Mortazavi, M M, et al. “The First Description of Chiari I Malformation with Intuitive Correlation between Tonsillar Ectopia and Syringomyelia.” Advances in Pediatrics., U.S. National Library of Medicine, Mar. 2011, <https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21361763>.

Pearce, J M S. “Arnold Chiari, or ‘Cruveilhier Cleland Chiari’ Malformation.” Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery & Psychiatry, BMJ Publishing Group Ltd, 1 Jan. 2000, <https://jnnp.bmj.com/content/68/1/13>.

Mortazavi, Martin M., et al. “The First Posterior Fossa Decompression for Chiari Malformation: the Contributions of Cornelis Joachimus Van Houweninge Graftdijk and a Review of the Infancy of ‘Chiari Decompression.’” SpringerLink, Springer, Dordrecht, 6 Apr. 2011, <https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs00381-011-1421-1>.


FOR ALL MY NON-CHIARI FAMILY MEMBERS AND FRIENDS… I really NEED you to listen to this and just try to understand! 


I know there’s absolutely NOTHING I can say to help you understand the pain that I go through; what it feels like to have pain all the time, in places that I didn’t even know that I could have pain in. To feel like someone is grabbing the back of your skull at your neck and literally trying to pull your skull right off of your head. I know there’s NOTHING I can say or do, to tell you how discouraging it is to have doctors tell you that they have “no idea why you’re hurting so bad,” and suggest that you should see a therapist, because obviously, if they don’t see it, it must be just psychological. And while I know your intentions are good and I know that you love me, I CANNOT think of anything to say to help you understand how incredibly hurtful it is to have those that are supposed to love you the most, those shoulders that are supposed to be there for you to lean on, tell you that you’re having a pity party, or  how they “wish you wouldn’t talk about it all the time” (and sometimes it’s not said that nicely either). And for MY KIDS and HUSBAND to have to carry so much on their shoulders and to feel like they have nobody to talk to about it, because everyone’s “tired of hearing about it.” And worse, since it’s genetic, for them to see how you treat me in my pain, and fear that if they’re diagnosed, that you will treat them the same.


You don’t understand, but my brothers and sisters with Chiari do. They understand it all, because they’re living it too. I know you don’t understand the bond that we have, but even though we’ve never met face-to-face, we’ve cried so many tears, and prayed through so many surgeries together; we’ve lost friends together while doctors still try and claim that Chiari can’t kill you (even with death certificates that say Chiari in hand). We’ve lost friends that just couldn’t take the pain anymore, and we cry together because we know that those thoughts have been our own and we struggle to find a way to keep pressing on, together! I know you don’t understand the bond, but it’s real.


I’m not saying all this to make you feel bad, God forbid you feel bad, I’m saying this because I STILL NEED YOU. You weren’t put in my life by mistake and what I’m going through physically and mentally is frightening and heart-breaking and I need you here by my side. You think you don’t have time to see me through all these surgeries and diagnoses, I don’t either. There’s so much more that I wanted to do with my life and now I just want to hold my head up without pain. I NEED you to change your heart towards me and all that I’m going through. I need you to call me, and just love on me. I need you to remind me of all that I am, despite my pain – that I’m stronger than I often feel like I am. I need you to remind me that there is still value to me still being here on earth. Because in those dark moments, when I look at all I’ve lost and everything that my family has lost through this fight, I need to hear it in someone’s voice besides my own. I need you to remind me how important it is that I fight this vigilantly, so that if God forbid one of my kids have to fight this fight, I will be the best possible advocate I can be for them. They’ve missed out on so much with me being sick. And should my fight on earth come to an end, I need you to stick to them like glue, and help them know how fantastic they are and that they’re not alone. Remind them that their stronger than they think, just like their warrior mom! Remind them that they have a purpose and a destiny to fulfill on earth, and to not to let anything stand in the way of that. If they get knocked down, pull them up again, every single time! Don’t worry, I’m not planning on going anywhere, this isn’t a suicide note or anything. I still have every intention of changing this fight of mine and winning it. But it’s hard sometimes and I really need you to fully understand how much I NEED YOU! Help me win this!


***Michelle originally wrote this on Facebook in 2016, with tears streaming down her face. The response from the Chiari community was astounding. What was astounding was not that so many liked it, but that so many Chiarians resonated with the heartbreak of it. It has been slightly edited for publishing. It was originally written with explicit language, that we at Chiari Bridges felt was a “most accurate” representation of the raw emotions that so many of us feel when we encounter these types of struggles in our family dynamics. However, this “clean” version is being created, for those to that are not comfortable sharing content with “strong language,” but still relate to the article and wish to share it.

The original (explicit version) of this article.


FOR ALL MY NON-CHIARI FAMILY MEMBERS AND FRIENDS… I’m going to cuss, but I really NEED you to listen to this and just try to understand:


I know there’s absolutely NOTHING I can say to help you understand the pain that I go through; what it feels like to have pain all the time, in places that I didn’t even know that I could have pain in. To feel like someone is grabbing the back of your skull at your neck and literally trying to pull your skull right off of your head. I know there’s NOTHING I can say or do, to tell you how discouraging it is to have doctors tell you that they have “no idea why you’re hurting so bad,” and suggest that you should see a therapist, because obviously, if they don’t see it, it must be just psychological. And while I know your intentions are good and I know that you love me, I CANNOT think of anything to say to help you understand how fucking incredibly hurtful it is to have those that are supposed to love you the most, those shoulders that are supposed to be there for you to lean on, tell you that you’re having a pity party, or  how they “wish you wouldn’t talk about it all the time” (and sometimes it’s not said that nicely either). And for MY KIDS and HUSBAND to have to carry so much on their shoulders and to feel like they have nobody to talk to about it, because everyone’s “tired of hearing about it.” And worse, since it’s genetic, for them to see how you treat me in my pain, and fear that if they’re diagnosed, that you will treat them the same.


You don’t understand, but my brothers and sisters with Chiari do. They understand it all, because they’re living it too. I know you don’t understand the bond that we have, but even though we’ve never met face-to-face, we’ve cried so many tears, and prayed through so many surgeries together; we’ve lost friends together while doctors still try and claim that Chiari can’t kill you (even with death certificates that say Chiari in hand). We’ve lost friends that just couldn’t take the pain anymore, and we cry together because we know that those thoughts have been our own and we struggle to find a way to keep pressing on, together! I know you don’t understand the bond, but it’s real.


I’m not saying all this to make you feel bad, God forbid you feel bad, I’m saying this because I STILL NEED YOU. You weren’t put in my life by mistake and what I’m going through physically and mentally is frightening and heart-breaking and I need you here by my side. You think you don’t have time to see me through all these surgeries and diagnoses, I don’t either. There’s so much more that I wanted to do with my life and now I just want to hold my head up without pain. I NEED you to change your heart towards me and all that I’m going through. I need you to call me, and just love on me. I need you to remind me of all that I am, despite my pain – that I’m stronger than I often feel like I am. I need you to remind me that there is still value to me still being here on earth. Because in those dark moments, when I look at all I’ve lost and everything that my family has lost through this fight, I need to hear it in someone’s voice besides my own. I need you to remind me how important it is that I fight this vigilantly, so that if God forbid one of my kids have to fight this fight, I will be the best possible advocate I can be for them. They’ve missed out on so much with me being sick. And should my fight on earth come to an end, I need you to stick to them like glue, and help them know how fantastic they are and that they’re not alone. Remind them that their stronger than they think, just like their badass mom! Remind them that they have a purpose and a destiny to fulfill on earth, and to not to let anything stand in the way of that. If they get knocked down, pull them up again, every single time! Don’t worry, I’m not planning on going anywhere, this isn’t a suicide note or anything. I still have every intention of changing this fight of mine and winning it. But it’s hard sometimes and I really need you to fully understand how much I NEED YOU! Help me win this!


***Michelle originally wrote this on Facebook in 2016, with tears streaming down her face. The response from the Chiari community was astounding. What was astounding was not that so many liked it, but that so many Chiarians resonated with the heartbreak of it. It has been slightly edited for publishing. What was astounding was not that so many liked it, but that so many Chiarians resonated with the heartbreak of it. It has been slightly edited for publishing. It was written with explicit language that we at Chiari Bridges felt was a “most accurate” representation of the raw emotions that so many of us feel when we encounter these types of struggles in our family dynamics, and therefore the decision was made to publish it in its raw form.

We have published a “clean version” of this article.


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I was what you would consider a “typical developing child” growing up, I did not have any health issues and was able to enjoy much of my childhood. My journey to finding answers in regard my health began at 15 years old, when I began rapidly losing my vision in my left eye. I dealt with severe headaches and the doctors struggled to draw a connection to my declining vision. I went from 20/20 vision to 20/400 in my right eye and 0 vision in my left. I was considered legally blind. I had to relearn how to navigate life with very little vision.

Little would I realize then, that this would be the beginning of a long road with specialists, procedures, frustration and even more frustration. I underwent eye injections to try and reduce the inflammation, leaking blood vessels in my eyes and optic nerve issues. My case stumped some of the biggest hospitals and specialists in the Bay Area. Eventually a doctor had noticed that for over 5 years every brain MRI listed “low lying cerebral tonsils” and decided to dig deeper into this issue. I received a diagnosis of Chiari Malformation Type 1 and had a full CSF blockage. Soon after, I required my first decompression surgery to help make more room to allow CSF to flow and taking pressure off my optic nerves. Things did not change, my positional headache was worse than ever, blindness, nausea/vomiting, joint pain, neuropathy, etc. Nothing improved from surgery.

Fast forward a few years, I was told that a second decompression surgery was required, which I agreed to. It resulted in a rip in my dural patch causing a cerebral spinal fluid leak at the surgical site. After these two decompression and a CSF leak repair surgery, my vision had improved significantly yet I was worse off symptom wise than I was when I initially began noticing changes in my body. Sadly, I was told from my specialists that there was nothing more they could do for me. They referred me to the headache/face pain clinic. After many failed attempts at managing my pain with medications, my doctor mentioned that my symptoms resembled a spinal fluid leak and that there is a doctor who is navigating research and I should be evaluated.

My new leak doctor requested many tests to evaluate for a potential leak, the first being blood work and prolactin levels, brain to spine MRI’s with and without contrast, CT , digital subtraction myelogram, MR myelogram, and the list goes on. After a few months of investigating we were able to confirm that I suffer from spontaneous intracranial hypotension, meaning that I have multiple leaks or suspicious areas in my spine, that happened spontaneously (without known trauma). My doctor mentioned that my Chiari diagnosis is what is classified as an Acquired Chiari Malformation.

The reason I am writing about my story here today is to spread awareness and bring recognition to spontaneous cerebral spinal fluid leaks, because this is something that I will face for the rest of my life. I have now had two decompression surgeries, two CSF leak repairs with hemi-laminectomies and duraplasty, seven epidural blood/fibrin glue patches, and sadly with even more procedures/surgeries to come. In my case, my Chiari was not congenital; it was acquired due to my low cranial pressure from a chronic leak in my spine. Nearly ten years after the onset of my problems, I have very important answers that would’ve been extremely useful before agreeing to have decompression surgeries. My hope is that if you are reading this, and have been diagnosed with Chiari Malformation, you will take the time to consider the possibility of leaks (even if you were told that it is a congenital Chiari Malformation. If I could help one person with sharing my story, someone like me, who is struggling to navigate their care with a map that is upside down, backwards and jumbled, it is worth the time in telling my story! We must be persistent, continue to advocate for ourselves, and truly be willing to learn to educate those around us. Even with some temporary success from surgery, my spontaneous leaks can occur at any time and for any reason or no reason, they do not discriminate.

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During my pregnancy I remember being very unwell, writing in my journal, “there is something wrong with pregnancy, I know something is wrong with my baby”, at only 10 weeks gestation; proving that a mother always knows. At around 30 weeks gestation my unborn baby started to get chronic hiccups followed by trembling, lasting several minutes and several times per day. I begged doctors to run further testing, pleading something was wrong but it all fell on deaf ears. Baby Eric’s heart rate was strong and steady, my fundus was measuring right on time with gestation, so my concerns were dismissed. At 36 weeks gestation, I started having consistent and lasting contractions. After several hours I proceeded to the ER department, concerned I was in preterm labor. Stress tests were run, and the nurses dismissed me, asking me to come back the next day for a follow up. While running a stress test the following day after food, juice and changing positions, the doctor was called as Eric didn’t have enough variables in his heart rate. I can still hear the Doctor yelling at the nurses asking why I had been sent home the night before demanding them to get on the phone with the hospital in the next community and to make sure a neonatal team was on standby, because they would be expecting a new Mom tonight. I was terrified, as all my worst fears were coming true. I was transported immediately, where I was met by a huge medical team. Everything was moving so quickly, myself and my partner were in shock and terrified not knowing what would come next. After an emergency ultrasound, Doctors explained that we had a very tiny baby with a great deal of amniotic fluid and something was seriously wrong with my baby; exclaiming that an emergency C-section would have to be performed. At this point we didn’t understand what this could mean, or why I had so much amniotic fluid. This was why my fundus was measuring well and everything went undetected. My partner and I were living every parent’s worst nightmare. Thinking back, I recall crying and holding my boyfriend’s hand as they carefully lifted a very tiny completely blue baby hand from my stomach. When we all saw my breathless baby like a flip of a switch the operating room became chaotic. Doctors were in a mad rush trying to resuscitate my baby, who had no vitals and wasn’t breathing. I was hysterical, so the doctors sedated me. My boyfriend was becoming increasingly agitated, so they demanded that he leave. I can still hear the nurses voice yelling at him, “you are taking up time we need to save your baby, you need to trust us and cooperate, OUT”, before the anesthesia flushed into my system.

After several hours I regained consciousness, family and doctors surrounded me trying to explain what they knew about baby Eric. They explained Eric and I would have to be immediately flown out to a larger center where they could properly care for my baby. Eric couldn’t support his own airway, he couldn’t suck, swallow, or move due to hypertonic muscles. He was having several seizures, all pointed to brain damage. At this point they had no idea what was wrong and could not conclude whether my baby would live. I recall saying I wanted to go see my baby and trying to get up out of the hospital bed, but the nurses told me I couldn’t see him, because I had just gone through a major surgery and he was too sick; we both had to rest for transport. When the nurses told me that, I flipped, telling them that come hell or high water, I was going to see him. I got as far as swinging my legs over the bed before I vomited everywhere. The nurses finally clued in that I was going with or without their help, so they laid me back down and wheeled me to the NICU to see him. I couldn’t even see my baby for he was so small and leads encased his body where he layed. They had his chin strapped up as every time it fell backward it would close off his airway leading to oxygen desaturation. They didn’t have the resources to intubate a baby at this hospital, so they decided to fly us out to Vancouver Children’s Hospital.

The nurses and doctors kept me sedated for the first 4 days of being in Vancouver as every time I came to, I would start screaming for my baby and they would find me wandering the halls trying to find my baby. On day 4, they finally let my partner wheel me down to the NICU to see him. It was the scariest place I had ever seen. Rows and rows of incubators filled with tiny preemies with all kinds of machines keeping them alive. The nurse told me Eric was the biggest baby they had at 4 lbs. 11 oz. This gave me false hope, believing if he was bigger than all the others, he must have a fighting chance to survive. After several days of Eric in the NICU covered in wires, leads, and intubation tubes we still had no answers as to why our baby was born so ill. Eric was having up to 35 or more seizures per day, he was poked and prodded many times a day and underwent several tests; spinal taps, MRI’s, CT Scans and had several neonatal experts tirelessly working to find the cause of his many issues. Any parent who has been through this knows and understands the emotional roller coaster that comes with this experience. One day they tell you that your baby is improving, and they say he will beat this battle, and the next you’re told he wouldn’t survive the next 24 hours telling you to say your goodbyes; waking up all hours of the night, if you sleep at all, to pump your milk for a baby that isn’t there. You are walking to the hospital in the middle of the night just to be next to him because you can’t bear to be away. You are begging, pleading to God for your child to be healed. After 3 weeks they finally let me have skin to skin cuddles and started teaching us how to care for him. This isn’t the way it’s supposed to go; you’re supposed to go to the hospital, have a baby and take them home, right? Instead you walk around numb, you don’t remember the last time you ate, or showered, you just feel like you’re having an out of body experience, as if you’re watching this happen to someone else. You’re scared to leave their side for even a minute because what if it’s that minute that he leaves this world and you’re not there?

We wouldn’t allow for anyone else to care for him, we did all his range of motion therapy, we did his bath time, and we did all his personal care alone because if a nurse or doctor touched him in a clinical manor he would be riddled with more seizures. After a month, the nurses started insisting we start taking better care of ourselves, so my boyfriend and I started alternating night shifts. My nights alone with him were my favorite, I would hold him all night and rock him. He would look up at me with his deep blue, soulful eyes and tell me all the secrets of the world. He had the oldest spirit I had ever saw, full of wisdom and love.

After about a month we had a meeting, and it was then that the doctors told us we had a failure to thrive baby, his cells didn’t migrate to the right place at the right time, that his cerebellum and brainstem were severely underdeveloped. The statistics 19 years ago was that one out of one million babies were born like this and they had yet to find out what caused the illness. Our baby couldn’t regrow the parts of his brain that didn’t develop. He had gestational arrest at 32 weeks, he had scoliosis, spina bifida occulta, epilepsy and severe brain damage. Our child would never move on his own, suck or swallow or be able to interact and that he would most likely die of aspiration pneumonia. He would live his life in hospital more than out. I have worked with special needs adults with this type of quality of life, I could play the tape to the end, and I knew hanging on to him would only be for selfish reasons. I understood that my baby was in pain, I could see in his beautiful blue eyes, as I said before, a mother always knows. It was at this time Eric’s father and I decided to sign a” Do Not Resuscitate” order. It was without a doubt the single hardest thing I have ever done.

We called our family to let them know of our decision and if they wanted an opportunity to say goodbye to Eric, they would have to travel down to do that as extubating was set for a week away. The doctors were certain he would pass away shortly thereafter. The family gathered, and we had our son baptized, pictures were taken, everyone had time alone to say what they needed to Eric, and he was extubated. Eric surprised us all; he just kept right on breathing, and he could support his airway after all. The hospital put us in a family room with our son, so we could spend as much time as we could with him in a less clinical environment before he passed.

Within 2 weeks, it was clear this child was a strong fighter and wasn’t ready to give up quite yet. We had another meeting and it was decided we would take him home. We wanted his big sister to have time with him and show him what a home was like. We took a 2-week crash course on neonatal nursing. We had to learn how to do his lung physio, how to suction him, and how to work a feeding pump and so much more. Eric was brought home February 10,1999. We did his 24-hour care until March 9th when he took a turn for the worse. He was diagnosed with aspiration pneumonia. This left me in a panic; I wasn’t ready to let him go, and I wanted him sent back to Children’s Hospital and be treated. We had an amazing Doctor who came to the hospital and took me for a walk to discuss why we made the DNR code and why we made the right choice for our son. I took my son home that day knowing we were running on borrowed time. His breathing became very shallow, he turned blue from lack of oxygen and on March 11, 1999 at 3:15 am our darling boy went home to be with his creator. The year following is a fog, I remember very little. I was deeply depressed but I knew I had to keep moving forward for my daughter, she needed me. I know she was hurting too but I was so consumed with my own grief, that I couldn’t reach out to her, I couldn’t handle both her grief and mine. My daughter and I have had to take a lot of time since to heal together. With that being said, the pain of losing a child is not something that you can run away from or attempt to forget; I relive my sons small time on this earth every single day.

Fast forward to 2005, I became very ill. It took 13 years for me to find out I had Chiari 1 Malformation and EDS and another 3 years too learn I too had Spina Bifida Occulta and Tethered Cord. I started to learn all I could on these conditions and joined many support groups. I was reading up on all the different types of Chiari when I came across Chiari Malformation type 4. It was described as one of the rarest types, when a baby is born with an underdeveloped hind brain or cerebellum. WHAT?! Did I just stumble across the reason as to why my son was born sick? Did I just stumble across the name of the disease that took my son from me? I printed out the info for Chiari 4 and Eric’s medical info and took it to my Doctor. The doctor and I had a long discussion and he agreed this was what my son had all those years ago, I just don’t think they called it Chiari 4 back in 1998. I was relieved to know, but angry. It took 18 years for me to find out what had happened to my darling baby and that was after all, genetic. They ran genetics on Eric but told us it was negative. Little did we know then that h-EDS was what I had and that they do not know the genes that cause it. I also learned many of us suffer from the MTHFR Gene where our bodies reject folic acid and B12, two vitamins I had always been deficient in and it can cause neural tube defects in babies.

In closing, I would like to say, no parent should have to wait 18 years to find out what took their child from them. As a parent, no matter how your child passes, you will blame yourself. I had to work through some pretty hard moments and learn to forgive myself for this unknown genetic disease that not only took my son Eric, but now has also made my oldest daughter Tricia ill. This is unacceptable to me. This is why it’s so important that we raise awareness and educate our doctors, so no mother or father has to wait 18 years to understand their child’s conditions or death. This is way the work that WTF and Chiari Bridges does is so very important to me and why I am always asserting that we be tested for all comorbid conditions. Rarely is Chiari just Chiari, so please take the time to undergo all the proper testing for all the comorbid conditions.

 

Eric Michael Nault November 28th, 1998 – March 11th, 1999.

Thank you for taking the time to remember my dear Eric with me,
Amy Schmalz

I had a rough journey with these conditions and I am sharing it to help show how complex we can be and how much we need the medical community to step it up a notch (or ten)! I grew up in Denmark, where I lived when I was diagnosed and had my first surgeries.

I exhibited various pains already from early childhood. As very young child, I would scratch big wounds in my head to my parents’ great frustration. I also suffered from headaches at a very early age, but my older sister had done the same, so when teeth correction helped her it was also hoped it would with me – and it did. Then started the pain in my back, shoulders and arms and that pain slowly moved upwards and developed. I was sent back and forth between physios and rheumatologists but all I got was scoliosis and hypermobility. I was told it was nothing to worry about and just do some physiotherapy. I was in a bad shape when I finished my teens and despite trying, I couldn’t really manage a job. At one point, I was seeing a chiropractor for misplaced hips and he wanted to check the x-ray that the public system had done of my neck and which was deemed clear. Here I had my first “real” diagnosis, Klippel-Feil malformation of c2-c3, which I was then told, could not cause any problems and was common (which it absolutely isn’t).

Years passed by with various periods of severe pain flares, flares that felt nothing like the pains I had before. But no doctor was really believing me. I had a spontaneous collapsed lung a couple of times in this period and ended up with surgery for this (I woke up under this surgery which later also turned out to have a significance). At 25, one day I had a sudden and severe onset of symptoms – a pain in the back of my head feeling like two stabbing knives. This did not resolve and after several attempts with various medicines, that I only got sicker from, I finally saw a new rheumatologist whom again treated me with harsh accusations of laziness and psychological imbalance. I can assure you he was the one bringing on my tears that day, despite the extra severe pain I had been in for weeks. I was placed in the care of the hospital physios and after a while, it became clear to them that there was something really wrong and they got me to see another rheumatologist, who in turn took their word and referred me for an MRI. I had only just turned 26 when I was diagnosed with Chiari 1 Malformation and Syringomyelia – in my full spine.

I did a bit of internet research as information in Danish was very sparse and realized there was a certain number of bad outcomes due to something called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Retroflexed Odontoid and Basilar Invagination. I asked my neurosurgeon, who was supposed to be the best in Denmark at this point, about these things – he claimed I didn’t have any. However, he did agree to refer me for Ehlers-Danlos evaluation. Here I was told I did not have that either. However, I was bordering on a similar connective tissue disorder called Marfan Syndrome, which they still could not diagnose me with due to my heart and eyes not being faulty. I had my first decompression surgery in December 2006. It was rough. I reacted badly to anesthetics and to the morphine and I also lost a lot of spinal fluid. I could not raise myself up the first month which I thought was normal. Slowly, I got better, and imaging showed my syrinx shrinking. Two and a half years later, though, I started experiencing dizziness and nausea and though my first surgeon didn’t believe me, imaging finally showed a big collection of fluid outside my spinal cord originating from a hole in the duraplasty used to close after tonsillar cauterization at my first surgery. I tried talking to the surgeon about concerns of Klippel-Feil and instability, that I had read about, but they would not hear of it and said that for now they would just focus on this issue. So, this was repaired, and I moved to Spain with my boyfriend at the time. I was placed on a disability pension from Denmark and that enrolled me in the Spanish public healthcare. I did, however, in the meantime follow up on my concerns and contacted a specialist, who had written about the Klippel-Feil and Chiari connection, and he straight away stated I had some severe issues with my odontoid and needed it removed and my neck fused to my skull. My first meeting with a surgeon in Spanish health care came up and he just looked at my imaging two minutes then stated my problems were way bigger than Chiari and Syringomyelia. He also diagnosed a severe retroflexed odontoid and Basilar Invagination – so severe he had a hard time understanding how I could breathe, let alone walk. But given my reasonably good condition, he opted to postpone these surgeries as they are big and not without risks.

A couple of years of enjoying the benefits the climate change gave me (and likely putting my head in the sand) went by but then I could no longer ignore the fact that I was getting worse. I was in a rough period with other matters of life, so it took a while before I realized I couldn’t escape the changes in my body. I started losing weight amongst other things and after a quick detour of fear of stomach cancer, I finally realized that everything that was going on was related to my brainstem compression. So, I went back to the neurosurgeon. He ordered some testing but before it could be done, I ended up admitted urgently after I stopped breathing one night. From here started a roller coaster. I didn’t feel right about their suggestions and the surgeon that was going to operate didn’t feel very secure himself even. I ended up getting transferred to a private hospital in Barcelona that calls themselves a “Chiari Institute.” Had I known what I do now, I would never have paid the fee for a filum release, but the doctor claimed this was what I needed and well… It was worth a shot in this urgent situation. He then sent me home, claiming I was cured. I didn’t feel right and breathing through the night was still a problem, so I started sending my imaging to experts around the world and working on getting referred to another hospital in Spain’s public health with higher expertise. All these experts claimed I wouldn’t have long to live unless I had this odontoid approached.

An American expert, however realized I had even more going on and that my gut feeling about the first Spanish hospital was correct – when I confronted them with these things they backed out. He also explained to me why he thought I indeed had this Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome too. Fast forward, long and rough fights with health care and the Danish system that refused to take any responsibility despite the first doctor who didn’t see a bone poking more than a centimeter into my brain and almost crushing my brainstem, another public health Spanish doctor who was mortified they had diagnosed me like they did in Denmark and changed my Chiari 1 diagnose to a Chiari 1.5, I finally found some Spanish doctors in private care, that I would trust to take on my case – and that my parents could just find the money for, through a loan on their house. Ideally, I would have gone to this doctor in America, but price and decline didn’t allow.

October 2016 I finally had a partial odontoidectomy and a fusion, which beyond doubt saved my life. It was a rough ride, for both me and the surgeons. They had to deal with complications related to my anatomy, to the mess the first surgeon in Denmark had left – he had indeed damaged my muscles more than I ever knew – and to the problems relating to the soft tissue. I do know they did a great job, but due to all the mistakes, how complicated my case was and is, I am unfortunately not done. I have ongoing issues and though some of these could have been avoided with the right approach from the beginning, some are just the way it is with these conditions.

I hope that my story will inspire other to take a step back and get better investigated – by real specialists – before letting anyone start cutting. Also, I hope it will serve to see how much we need the medical community to step up and keep up to date with research. These are serious conditions and doctors all over the world are literally playing with our lives. Please help spread awareness – educate yourself and others and ask for raising the standard of care for these complicated conditions.

 

Have you written something that you think would be of value to the Chiari community? Consider publishing it with us! It might be exactly what someone else needs to hear for them to make it through their next mile of the fight!

Not all of our pieces are technical pieces. We want articles that are encouraging, uplifting, and even those that might be seen as controversial. We feel it is both necessary and prudent in our fight to talk blatantly about what Chiarians go through at the hands of our medical professionals and insurance companies alike (in a general sense), but because we don’t want anyone to get “blacklisted” by those they must do business with, we have certain protocols in place to help protect the identities of authors that do such controversial pieces. Please see our Author Submission Agreement and ensure that you are agreeable to the terms before submitting your article for consideration. We are very particular about violating copyright laws, so the signed agreement is required before publication.

We have limited the character count to 10,000 characters including spaces (that is just over 2 full, typewritten pages). Anything more than that lessens the chances of it being read by our readers. (If you desire to go over that, it will take approval from our editor. Submit what you have with the limit and when she contacts you about your story, you can request what you would like to add that makes it exceed the limit.) So think carefully about what you want to share and start writing!

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TORTURE EXISTS IN 2018 IN THE US AND IT IS SPREADING GLOBALLY. IT’S HAPPENING IN MEDICAL FACILITIES. IT’S HAPPENING TO CHRONIC PAIN PATIENTS (CPP), PEOPLE WHO ARE RECOVERING FROM SURGERY AND TRAUMATIC INJURY AND PEOPLE WITH PAINFUL, INCURABLE DISEASES. THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF THE UNITED NATIONS HAS GONE ON RECORD STATING THAT, “UNTREATED PAIN IS TANTAMOUNT TO TORTURE OR CRUEL, INHUMAN OR DEGRADING TREATMENT OR PUNISHMENT.” [1] BY DENYING PAIN CONTROL TO PATIENTS WITH ACUTE OR CHRONIC PAIN, WE ARE LOSING A BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE.

Now is the time for us ALL to UNITE and take ACTION!

“Opioid Crisis” is a new buzz term being overused by national news and government officials to evoke a negative feeling about a drug that was created for helping people. The definition of “crisis” by Merriam-Webster dictionary is partially defined as “an unstable or crucial time or state of affairs in which a decisive change is impending; especially: one with the distinct possibility of a highly undesirable outcome.”

There is much ignorance from our government officials. One example is from the US Attorney General, Jeff Sessions. In a visit to Tampa in February, Sessions remarked, “I am operating on the assumption that this country prescribes too many opioids. People need to take an aspirin sometimes and tough it out a little.”[2] This statement underlies the lack of understanding of chronic pain and its detrimental effects among the government officials who have been tasked with solving this opioid crisis.

President Trump made this comment on March 19, 2018 and was quoted in an article by NPR: “Whether you are a dealer or doctor or trafficker or a manufacturer, if you break the law and illegally peddle these deadly poisons, we will find you, we will arrest you, and we will hold you accountable.”[3] While he is attacking the problem in multiple ways, he still seems to want to go after the legal prescription side in this battle.

Sixteen senators (now 15, since Al Franken resigned) had approached the DEA and requested and received a 20% cut in production in legal opioids in 2018 after cuts in 2017, and they want more cuts in 2019. Less production of legal meds creates big problems. And the DEA and Sessions have responded to this request, proposing a new rule that would allow the DEA to reduce the amount of opioids that drug companies can manufacture and sell, if it believes that a company’s opioids are being diverted for misuse.[4] Meanwhile, hospitals are already experiencing a shortage of many injectable opioids used for surgical anesthesia and for the treatment of post-surgical, traumatic and disease-produced severe pain.[5]

There have been a lot of statistics used to sway opinions in this fight. A group of anti-prescription opioid zealots known as PROP (Physicians for Responsible Opioid Prescribing) have made claims about prescription opioids that most patients and doctors alike would disagree with. Members of PROP, including Andrew Kolodny, MD, an addiction specialist who serves as PROP’s executive director, have been very influential in the media and with government bodies alike. They were very involved with the formation of the 2016 CDC Opioid Prescribing Guidelines. In a 2015 Q&A for the Kolmac Outpatient Recovery Center, Kolodny said, “Many Americans are truly convinced that opioids are helping them. They can’t get out of bed without them.”[6] And in an interview with The Fix in 2016, Kolodny was quoted as saying “Heroin users will use some of the exact same language pain patients use to explain how opioids help them. They wake up and feel agonizing pain, and they take their opioid and their pain becomes bearable.”[7] While PROP and its members are busy trying to convince the public and the US government that opioids are almost never appropriate for chronic pain and that patients who use long-term prescribed opioid therapy are tantamount to addicts, the science seems to disagree. In a recent white paper published by the Alliance for the Treatment of Intractable Pain, a review of the applicable research laid out the case for opioid prescriptions for chronic pain being both effective and posing a very low risk for addiction.[8]

In addition, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) continued to count all deaths with legal or illegal opioids in a body, as an opioid death and using these statistics as an impetus to develop their 2016 guidelines, as well as listing them on their website to be cited by the media and other government officials who were tasked with developing policies to curb the overdose crisis. Using these statistics, it is no wonder that government officials came away with a belief that prescribing fueled the overdose crisis. However, in an article in April 2018 in a publication of the American Public Health Association, four CDC officials quietly admitted that the CDC statistics were miscalculated, and over-inflated by about double.[9] So far, the CDC itself has not officially admitted that the numbers are wrong, and continue to stand by their 2016 prescribing guidelines.

The PDMP (Prescription Drug Monitoring Program) was an answer government officials put in place to ensure that legal drug users were brought into compliance with the new standards being enforced on doctors and pharmacies. The legal prescription opioid users that still have access to pain medication sign contracts, subject themselves to random drug testing and agree to use one pharmacy. Well, the reduction in production of opioids in 2018 has caused many pharmacies to have a drug shortage. Many pharmacists are also reticent to fill opioid prescriptions out of fear of the DEA, or worry about fueling the opioid crisis because of the false media narrative. Pain patients drive to the doctor’s office to pick up their paper prescription, take it to their pharmacy and wait. If that pharmacy is out of your medication, you now go to another pharmacy and this trend continues in hopes of a refill. Then we need to call our doctor’s office back and let them know we filled our prescription at another location. This is a lot on people with chronic pain.

There is also a negative stigma attached to having to take pain meds. Many chronic pain patients take prescription opioids to continue meaningful work. This could be a huge problem because they are afraid to speak out, afraid of losing their job, or at least bringing suspicion upon themselves from employers. Many patients are afraid that if those around them know they take pain medication, they will be seen as addicts. But it is time to brush off the stigma and the fear and to stand up for our rights to access proper and effective medical treatment. If we don’t, we may lose access permanently and keeping our jobs, social lives, and other important activities and relationships will not be possible due to disability from pain.

Doctors that want to be doctors are now caught up wasting time in government “guidelines” or laws and pressure from insurance companies that do not want to cover pain control prescribed by our doctors. Many doctors who have continued to prescribe despite the current hostile regulatory environment have been threatened, raided, and even arrested by the DEA.[10] Our doctors are having to choose between upholding the Hippocratic Oath and keeping their ability to practice medicine and earn a livelihood altogether.

On April 3, 2018, the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services adopted a new policy governing opioid prescriptions for Medicare patients. While they backed down from a proposed “hard limit” where opioid prescriptions above 90 mg MME would be rejected at the pharmacy and could only be overridden by the insurer, they did end up passing a 200mg MME hard limit, and a “soft edit” at the 90 mg MME mark. This requires pharmacists to speak with the prescribing physician about the appropriateness of the dose for all prescriptions above 90MME. The pharmacist must then document this conversation and may fill the prescription at their discretion. The new rule also limits all new opioid prescriptions to 7 days, meaning Medicare will no longer pay for new opioid prescriptions that last more than 7 days, regardless of the circumstances. Many Chiari and EDS patients undergoing major surgery such as decompression or fusion, will no longer be able to receive more than a week of post-surgical pain medication without returning to their doctors for a new prescription. And patients who develop severe chronic pain in the future may not be able to get appropriate treatment for their pain. The only thing that kept CMS’ original proposal of a hard limit at 90mg MME was a severe backlash resulting in hundreds of strongly worded comments on their public docket from patients and physicians alike.[11] It is proof that our voices do matter and that we can make a difference when we speak out.

Despite some backlash from the chronic pain and medical communities, the government pushes forward with their agenda. Some states have lost their right to proper pain control and many are being threatened. It is time for those patients who have been sitting on the sidelines waiting for someone else to fight this battle for them, to rise and make some noise. It’s time for ALL of us to unite to make changes for ourselves and the future Pain Patients and our children. Imagine our children, inheriting these conditions from us and suffering the same or worse pain as we do, and having zero access to effective pain treatment because we allowed our government to take away one of our most effective treatment options!

What we all need to do is contact our elected officials. It easy to type up your email regarding your story and what pain meds mean to you or loved ones. You can look up your elected officials email address and copy and paste your email and send to many people. The elected official I spoke with said they have not heard from Chronic Pain Patients. Please take time and do this. You can send out emails laying down from your bed. You can also follow our CALL TO ACTION posts, which will inform you of key legislation and administrative actions and how you can act to make sure that our voices are heard.

My voice is one, but if many are sent in, they might listen. There is strength in numbers and together, we CAN make a difference! Please help.

 

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References:

1 Tennant, Forest. “Editor’s Memo October 2017: United Nations Says Untreated Pain Is ‘Inhumane and Cruel.’” Practical Pain Management, PracticalPainManagement, <www.practicalpainmanagement.com/treatments/pharmacological/opioids/united-nations-says-untreated-pain-inhumane-cruel>.

2Slattery, Denis. “AG Sessions Says Patients Should Take Aspirin or Suffer through Pain to Prevent Opioid Addiction – NY Daily News.” Nydailynews.com, New York Daily News, 8 Feb. 2018, <www.nydailynews.com/news/national/sessions-patients-aspirin-fight-opioid-crisis-article-1.3808114>.

3Horsley, Scott. “President Trump Vows To ‘Liberate’ U.S. From Opioid Crisis.” NPR, NPR, 19 Mar. 2018, <www.npr.org/2018/03/19/594999711/president-trump-vows-to-liberate-u-s-from-opioid-crisis>.

4Anson, Pat. “Sessions Wants More Cuts in Opioid Production.” Pain News Network, 17 Apr. 2018, <www.painnewsnetwork.org/stories/2018/4/17/sessions-wants-more-cuts-in-opioid-production>.

5 Bartolone, Pauline. “The Other Opioid Crisis: Hospitals Are Running Short of Powerful Painkillers.” Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Times, 16 Mar. 2018, <www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-opioid-painkiller-hospitals-20180316-story.html#nws=mcnewsletter>.

6 Kolodner, George. “Q&A: Dr. Andrew Kolodney, Chief Medical Officer, Phoenix House.”Kolmac Outpatient Recovery Centers, 14 Dec. 2015, <www.kolmac.com/2015/12/qa-dr-andrew-kolodny-chief-medical-officer-phoenix-house/>.

7Siegel, Zachary. “Pain Patients Fear the Future Amid Opioid Crisis.” The Fix, 27 Nov. 2018, <www.thefix.com/pain-patients-fear-future-amid-opioid-crisis>.

8Lawhern, Richard A. “Prescription Opioids and Chronic Pain.” The Alliance for the Treatment of Intractable Pain, Mar. 2018, <www.atipusa.org/2018/04/02/atip-white-paper-on-prescription-opioids-and-chronic-pain/>.

9Seth, Puja, et al. “Quantifying the Epidemic of Prescription Opioid Overdose Deaths.”American Journal of Public Health, 7 Mar. 2018, <www.ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/10.2105/AJPH.2017.304265>.

10Bernstein, Lenny. “DEA’s Opioid Crackdown Brings Arrests of Prescribers, Pharmacists.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 2 Apr. 2018, <www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/deas-opioid-crackdown-brings-arrests-of-prescribers-pharmacists/2018/04/02/64ded32a-368f-11e8-8fd2-49fe3c675a89_story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.ef5781020422>.

11Roubein, Rachel. “CMS Tweaks Opioid Proposal after Backlash.” TheHill, The Hill, 3 Apr. 2018, <www.thehill.com/policy/healthcare/381493-cms-tweaks-opioid-proposal-after-sparking-backlash>.

 

Like most of us, when my symptoms started, I felt very alone. I was blessed to have family and friends that helped me through and cheered me on, but there was a part of the fight that only those directly going through it can understand. At that time, online support groups were far from what they are now. The support groups have definitely improved, but there is still so much more that we need. We need knowledge of the studies that are already out there! We need hope for the future! We need training in self-advocacy! We need help in trying to get our bodies and minds as healthy as we possibly can, because like it or not, things can get much worse than they already are. It was from our desire to help meet those needs, that the Chiari Bridges vision began!

Empowering With Knowledge!
Chiari Bridges aims to challenge everything we have been taught about Chiari and its comorbid conditions, and write about them in a way that makes them easier to understand. Although, because we know how hard it can be to get our doctors to listen to us, we will do everything we can to supply the studies behind the facts that we write about (that is why our citations are in red, so they are not overlooked). Knowledge is power! Once we as a community have a better understanding of all that is likely to be going on in our bodies, we can arm ourselves with the studies and take them to our doctors and show them the standard of professional knowledge that we expect! The bar has to be raised, for our radiologists and doctors alike, and they are not going to raise the bar for themselves. We have to inspire them to do that and we are going to raise the roof until they do!

Raising Our Bar!
One of the biggest problems we see amongst Chiarians is that our broken bodies have degraded our spirits and our confidence. It is time for us to learn to believe in ourselves once again! The doctors that we were taught to respect, got their knowledge by studying. And many have dropped the ball in their studying, yet they continue to operate on our brains, answer our questions with wrong answers, and deny our symptoms, knowing that they are not knowledgeable at all of our condition and its comorbidities. They like to “act” like we are crazy enough to think that we could wrap our brains around medical concepts that their narcissistic disorders incline them to believe that only medical professionals could understand. Well, they truly have underestimated the reality of all that our big brains can truly accomplish! We cannot let their ineptitude become ours, because it is our brains on the line, not theirs! We plan on creating a venue to share about our doctors, the good and the bad, in a way that decreases the potential for legal liability. We have a right to share our experiences – we just need to do it in the right way.

Encouraging Hopes and Dreams!
When it comes to conditions such as ours, the first things to come under attack is our hopes and dreams for the future. Even when we start out being hopeful (often because our doctors understate the significance of what has happened to our bodies), by the time we are decompressed and we find that we are still symptomatic, those hopes and dreams quickly diminish. I have been quoted as saying, “If Chiari has stolen your dreams, dream again!” I still believe that and have been in a constant state of having to practice it. We may not be what we originally wanted to be, but if we continue to see all that we can do and not just what we cannot do, we can dare to dream again! We are all multifaceted human beings with broad gifts and talents. We might not be the athletes we once aspired to be, but that says nothing of our strength. We all have the potential to change the world around us! You might be an artist that hasn’t practiced your art in years – start practicing again! You might have always thought about writing books, but because of your diminished hope for the future, you haven’t written in years – pick up a pen and start writing again! The only way to ever know your true potential is to try and try again! Dare to dream again! 

Helping Chiarians Thrive!
While I cannot go into much detail on this topic right now, we do have plans in the works to help encourage Chiarians to gain back a sense of control and live out their passions. Some have already started, as we aim to encourage help with self-advocacy, health and fitness, political lobbying awareness, and the like. But we also plan on encouraging Chiarians to start those businesses that have been on their hearts for so long (not multi-level marketing ploys either, but authentic, heart-inspired, creative businesses), and helping get the word out that it is Chiari owned. We as a community can accomplish so much more, but we need to work together to do it, and start applauding one another instead of tearing one another down! We all need a new chapter in our lives, where we overcome and succeed in the things planted in our hearts! 

Passion and Motivation to Create Change in Our Community!
When we first embarked on building this bridge, I realized that my vision was much bigger than my ability to do it alone. Therefore, I sought out certain people within the community that were passionate about specific aspects that can help our community as a whole. Some loved the idea and still serve on the Chiari Bridges team. Some are on the team and just starting to give birth to all that is in their hearts to accomplish. (I absolutely love fresh ideas and fanning the flame until they happen!) Not everyone loved the idea though. Some saw it as a threat to their own projects. They mocked me and one called me “&*%@ing crazy” (she had no idea how right she was). Instead of taking us up on the offer, she made every attempt to try to stop us, and she and her friends have been reporting every image that we use and claiming it as their images. (Good luck with that!) If wanting to create change makes me crazy, I will gladly wear the crown! Let them talk and let’s do this anyway! While they are busy gossiping, we see an increase in Chiarians losing their battles every year. Last year, two of my good friends ended their fight. That’s two too many! We have no desire to compete with anyone or any other non-profits, especially the ones that serve to try and benefit (and not exploit) our community (that childishness has only served to hurt our community). We actually want to cheer on those organizations, individuals and groups in what they are doing and do all we can to help generate support in their efforts. There really is enough need in our community for them to do what is in their hearts to do and still be active and true to what is in our hearts to do. If you have passion and motivation, and just need an outlet or help doing it, tell us about it. It takes a village working together to bring about change!

Oh, and by the way, our vision for change is global! Our bar is not low. We aim to change the world and want to connect with those who desire the same!

Michelle Cole
President, Chiari Bridges, Inc.

 

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Zona McGee was blessed with a vibrant and beautiful little boy on July 2nd, 1993. She named him Ryan Andrew and fell in love with his sweet face the second she first held him. He looked just like her! Her husband, Kevin, and daughter Crystal, eight-years old at the time, were over the moon as well.

Zona had been battling a genetic kidney disorder her entire life, causing both of her pregnancies to be considered high-risk, so when her second delivery and birth went well, she was elated. She counted her blessings and relaxed into the day-to-day tasks of being a young mother. Her life was happy, and she adored her children very much.

By her beaming account, Ryan was a gregarious and charming little boy. “If there was something to explore, he would be all in it,” she told me. He had more energy than she knew what to do with and she kept him busy with stimulating activities and adventures. He was sweet, kind, and loved to make people smile, especially his sister, with whom he shared a unique bond.

Watching her children grow into responsible young adults made Zona immensely proud. She had many wonderful memories of her family through the years. Because her kidney disease is genetic, and other family members suffered as well, she had worried that her children may inherit the gene, but neither did. Ryan was a very bright, energetic, healthy child. Throughout his childhood, Ryan’s well-child checkups always received A+ reports.

However, when he was 15, his physician noted an incidental finding of minor scoliosis. Because Ryan did not complain of pain, the doctor decided to just keep an eye out for future changes. Ryan’s teenage years were happy. As he matured, his high energy settled down, and he became more introspective. He often spent his free time gaming on the computer, broadcasting on his YouTube channel, playing guitar, and enjoying life with his friends and family. Music was a major part of his world. He loved everything about it: listening, writing, and playing. He often shared his songs and favorite bands with his proud family.

Ryan was a good student and took a local job after graduating from high school. He loved working and earning his own money. By all accounts, Ryan was a completely normal, functioning, and on-target, young adult. He was doing what most recent high school grads do – living life, having fun, and trying to decide what profession he might go into.

He was also heavily involved in organ donor awareness. Although Zona had been doing remarkably well for years, during this time, her condition began to rapidly decline, and she was put on a kidney donor list. She had a calling to act and started a blog, which led to a passionate fight to spread awareness about the importance of donating organs and tissue. Ryan fought alongside her and made the decision to become a donor himself. Little did they know, Ryan’s decision would end up saving many precious lives, including his own mother’s.

In May of 2013, Ryan began experiencing minor, intermittent headaches that were uncomfortable, but not debilitating. Zona made the logical assumption that Ryan was not wearing his glasses often enough. She continued to encourage him to wear his glasses, but the headaches became more severe over the next month. He visited his doctor who also believed it was due to his eyes, and advised Ryan to take Tylenol for the “migraines.” Stress was also considered, but the doctor was not a bit concerned.

Sadly, glasses and Tylenol did nothing to prevent or relieve the pain. His headaches were constant and progressively painful, making it difficult for Ryan to function. He was in agony, but he tried to minimize his suffering as to not “burden or stress out his family.” The doctors assured them that “nothing serious” was going on with him. The doctors were horribly premature in that assessment of Ryan’s symptoms.

One Friday, during a particularly bad flare up, Zona became very concerned that Ryan may have been suffering from a sinus infection and planned to take him to a walk-in clinic that following Monday. He never made it to that visit. On Sunday, May 12, 2013, Mother’s Day, Ryan was stricken, out of the blue, with an unbearable headache. He also complained of a stiff neck and collapsed in the bathroom. Zona and Crystal, who both heard a “thud” found Ryan unresponsive on the floor, and rushed him to the hospital.

They waited anxiously, for tests to come back, wondering if Ryan’s symptoms pointed to meningitis. The doctors mentioned that he, “May have a brain tumor”, before all the results were back. The family was terrified. However, after an MRI scan and lab results were completed, the doctor came in and told Ryan that “luckily” it was not a tumor or bacterial brain infection, but that they had found a Chiari Malformation.

Zona anxiously queried, “A what?”

Her question was ignored, as her child was an adult. She asked again, but the doctor turned from her and explained the test results to Ryan directly. He told Ryan that a Chiari occurs when the brainstem becomes herniated, but they could easily “fix” it with brain decompression surgery. He also told him that unless he agreed to surgery, his headaches would worsen, and he would just keep coming back to the E.R. He was presented with consent forms and was informed that they wanted to do the surgery the following morning.

Ryan had never dealt with illness or pain and he was terrified. After consulting with Zona, who felt that they should take some time to get more information, Ryan made the decision to undergo the operation. He just couldn’t bear the pain any longer; it was that debilitating. They were promising him relief and his symptoms were so severe, he trusted them and signed the consent forms. Zona was beside herself with worry. She thought to herself, “We just found out that he has something I have never even heard of, and they want to saw through his skull? I need more time!”

But she didn’t have time. She also did not have the respect of the doctor simply based on Ryan’s age. This infuriated her, as while Ryan was over 18, she felt that his family should be able to have their questions answered as well. But she didn’t fuss. They were coming to prep him, so she hid her fear and frustration to be strong for her son. When they wheeled the gurney away, she had no idea she would never see her son the same way again.

During Ryan’s first surgery, a temporary shunt was placed in an attempt to drain excess cerebrospinal fluid. When that failed, the surgeon made the call to do decompression surgery. Ryan went into this operation a very healthy and fit young man, but he came out with obvious signs of brain damage. Though it was clear that Ryan wasn’t well post-op, his family never again saw the surgeon who performed his decompression. There was no follow-up.

Over the next few months, Ryan was rushed to the E.R. on several occasions due to cyclic, intractable, vomiting along with severe head and neck pain. During these dozen-plus visits to the E.R., he was turned away multiple times and labeled “drug-seeking, weak, and dramatic.” This was a slap in the face, as Ryan was advised to blindly have the surgery to prevent him from returning to the E.R. This painful irony was not lost on Zona, and it only added to her trauma and confusion.

Ryan was having seizures, yet he was told he was faking them. When Zona protested, she was told by a nurse entrusted with Ryan’s care, “Your son is not having seizures. What is wrong with you? Do you want him to have seizures?”

In all the E.R. visits, there was ONE brain scan. The family was told the surgery was successful and whatever was going on, if anything, was completely unrelated to his decompression surgery at their hospital.

On the last visit to this particular hospital, the chief neurosurgeon refused to treat him neurologically and ordered a psychiatric evaluation instead. After speaking with Ryan, the psychiatrist said, “I do not believe you are crazy, but you are a bit of a wimp.”

Zona was livid and chased everyone out of his room. She then immediately took Ryan to another, smaller hospital. It was obvious to the triage nurse that Ryan was in serious trouble. He was gaunt, having lost 30-plus pounds in three months. He had nystagmus, and his vital signs reflected the pain and distress he was experiencing. Scans showed brainstem slumping and his neck, literally, had no support. Zona was told that “too much bone had been removed,” and that he needed emergent intervention.

The doctors recommended immediate surgery to correct the horribly botched decompression. However, they suspected that he had meningitis, due to a fever, so they wanted to confirm and aggressively treat that before opening him back up. They began I.V. antibiotics and Dilaudid.

Again, Zona helplessly waited by his side for more test results. She was slightly relieved that there was finally a team of people looking after her child who believed them, but as she watched her child dozing from the pain medication, she barely recognized him. He was thin, with hollow, sunken eyes, and his weak, frail arms were drawn to his chest. Hands clenched in fists, he laid in a semi-fetal position. She wanted to know how this had happened. It had been a surreal, awful three months, and she wondered if there would be enough time to save him. Tragically, there was not.

Ryan suffered a fatal seizure the following morning that collapsed his brainstem, and he never woke up. He was pronounced brain dead, August 11th, 2013.

After Ryan’s death, it was discovered that he did not have an infection at all. According to an independent attorney’s assessment of Ryan’s medical records, there were at least nine opportunities for the health professionals, whom Zona trusted, to save Ryan’s life. The investigator called Ryan’s treatment barbaric and inconceivable. He, like all of us, want to know how this young man was so callously discarded and left to suffer until his untimely death. That question will never be answered. It is incomprehensible how the “professionals” who did have contact with Ryan, not only shunned him, but covered up evidence of medical injustice in order to protect their establishments, surgeons, and other health care workers.

Ryan’s severe, post-decompression, decline was obvious. Ryan was aware that he was in critical condition. He knew he was not going to survive. Before he died, he told Zona, “Make sure everyone knows what happened.” She did that and more.

Zona wanted the world to know who Ryan was and about the loving gifts he left behind. The medical establishment failed Ryan and his family, but he remains a true hero. Upon his death, several families received the gift of life through Ryan’s organ donation-including his mother, Zona. The day after Ryan died, she was in surgery receiving her child’s kidney.

There are times when Zona, naturally, wondered what she could have done differently, but the answer to that is simple: Without advocacy and awareness, hindsight is 20/20. There was nothing more she could have done. She tried everything in her power that she knew to do at that time. Because this was being reiterated by the doctors, she had faith that he was in good hands and that he would recover fully. There was no playbook she could consult on how to advocate for her child. She was in a surreal state of shock, disbelief and fear. She had no frame of reference to show her that the medical professionals in charge of Ryan’s care were terribly wrong, and negligent in the very least. She had to believe the doctors whose opinions and advice we are taught to trust. After all, doctors are the ones who have the medical degrees and they know best, right? No.

From the time Ryan was decompressed to the day he died, Zona made several calls to get Ryan help, but nobody would listen! Zona’s desperate attempts to alert the medical staff of Ryan’s worsening condition were to no avail. Nobody helped! Nobody cared! Nobody listened.

Zona took the pain from this unimaginable nightmare and turned into an unrelenting drive to educate other families who are caught up in the trap of medical injustice. She became a fierce advocate for patient safety and rights with the hope that no other child will suffer the way Ryan did. She also helped parents navigate the medical system so that they may learn from her experience. She vowed to work feverishly to bring about awareness and authorized a documentary about Ryan’s life and struggle with Chiari Malformation.

On Sunday, May 14th, 2017, Mother’s Day, Zona McGee, succumbed to metastatic lung cancer that she acquired from the anti-rejection drugs she was given to save Ryan’s kidney. Her death is a tremendous loss to our community. Her family and friends miss her more than any of my words can express.

Zona’s worst fear was that Ryan would be forgotten and that her promise, to let everyone know his story, would end with her life. I promised we will never let that happen. We never will.

Rest in peace, beautiful angels.

Please support Zona’s Visions:

Zona’s Blog Zona-Life On The Waitlist

Ryan’s Awareness Page: Ryan’s Voice Chiari Patient Awareness

Please support the documentary Writing For Ryan and view the documentary trailers and share the website link as well.
www.chiaridocumentary.com

Gianna Soares
Writing For Ryan
Updated 01-21-2018
For the exclusive use of Chiari Bridges, as per Zona’s request.